(for selfburn ) He says that he will, but he's just a liar

[viciousmaukeries]

 It was probably a good thing that Nott had warned Caleb about the letter she'd written to Astrid on his behalf. Otherwise, returning at last from Xhorhas to Zadash to find a letter from her waiting for him would have been an even nastier shock. Especially since Astrid must have done a fair bit of deliberate research to draw the link from Caleb Widogast to Bren Ermendrud, for that was the name she addressed him by in the letter. 

And in that letter, she asked for help - help escaping from Trent, even in getting revenge on him for what he'd made them all do. She could make time to wait at the northernmost gates of the Empire, on Glory Run Road, for the first three days of every month for at least the next little while. And so she would wait for him there, hoping that he and his friends would come and help her as she and Edowulf should have helped him before.

It was probably a sensible choice in the long run that Caleb set out alone instead, but that did nothing to ease the panic that spread throughout the Mighty Nein when they awoke one morning to find him gone with not a word or sign left behind to mark where he might have gone or why.

Winter was coming to an end, so the mornings were warm more often than not and it wasn't a terribly hard ride from Zadash up towards Shady Creek Run, provided that you stuck to the roads. Caleb would even come across a surprising sight along the way - the coat no longer hung over Molly's grave, and the soil itself had been visibly disturbed and overturned, in a way that might very much suggest it had been dug up from the inside. Doing so only seemed to have helped the tangle of mushrooms and flowers growing up from the soil - they were growing fast, early, and bright.

True to her word, Astrid was waiting for him when he arrived at the great toll gates that marked the northernmost boundaries of the Empire. But of course, her pleas for help had been a trap from the start. The curse she cast was fast, merciless, and without preamble, leaving Caleb weakened and sick as it attacked the very essence of his magic. From there, the guards should have been able to handle him easily - the fact that Caleb was able to get away at all was a minor miracle, but even then, it left him alone in the wilds, far from his friends, and bereft of any magic that wouldn't cause him debilitating pain to use. 

Comments

[selfburn]

The first few days of his capture Caleb cursed himself and took his punishments. It was his fault for believing in the letter. The others had warned him. He had lied when he told them he wouldn't do anything rash. He deserved the crystals sliced under his arms and the hours of isolation.

Then the voices of his friends broke through his self hatred. He heard Beau telling him to fight, Nott screaming for him, and Jester crying over him. The time he spent with the Mighty Nein gave him the strength to fight back. He had endured torture before so having his magic actually hurt him was just... just more torture.

Two days after his escape Caleb staggered into Shady Creek Run, dirty, injured, and half out of his mind. Luckily for him, no one wanted to mess with the crazy man. Well, except the man who ran the stables. Caleb could sleep in the hayloft as long as he took care of the horses. There he heard the first rumor of a purple tiefling doing fortune telling for the smugglers. The empty grave flashed in his mind and Caleb felt a burst of hope.

That night he slipped away from the stables and went to the inn where the tiefling was rumored to hold court with his fortune telling. He slipped inside and it took all of two seconds to find a ghost. Molly. Sitting there with cards like, like nothing was wrong.

He inched forward but hovered on the edge of the crowd, watching, wondering what he would do next.

[viciousmaukeries]

He'd clawed his way out of his grave with no money, one sword, and a hazy tangle of memories that had taken weeks to clear up. In the meantime, he'd picked a direction to stagger down the road, and by sheer blind chance it had taken him into Shady Creek Run.

The first little while had been hard, but eventually word of his presence had reached the ears of Ophelia Mardun. She'd gotten him off the streets as much out of curiosity as anything - he was distinctive, even now, even with his coat long gone. He was a mystery to be solved. Her attempts to do so ultimately didn't provide her with any chance of a ransom or other material benefit - fortunately, by the time she'd realized as much, he'd recovered enough to start doing odd jobs to pay his way around the place. He bodyguarded her people from potentially rowdy clients, he helped pack up shipments for smuggling, and once his hands had stopped shaking he lied, he stole.

It took him an unfortunately long while to even lay his hands on a tarot deck but, once he did, Molly was happy to return to his old job, too, and the smugglers were surprisingly happy to have him doing it. The air was a little easier here, with the Iron Shepherds gone, but Shady Creek Run was still a grim and gloomy place at the best of times. Cheap, easy fun was in short supply. He filled that niche and happily accepted a few scattered coppers at a time for it.

The cards danced and shuffled through his fingers, the shakiness of the grave finally faded, and Molly chattered easily to the woman across the table from him, a table covered by a moth-eaten tapestry. "Now the spread I'm going to be doing here is--"

His gaze scanned the room, checking the audience, gauging their attentiveness. He looked right past Caleb and then his gaze snapped back to him, eyes widening imperceptibly to anyone who didn't know him. His shuffling stumbled - a couple of cards fell loose. But Molly recovered deftly, pretending as if he'd meant to draw them forth all along and laying them out before his customer, adding a third, fourth, and fifth card to join them.

This time, as he talked his gaze sought Caleb out deliberately, half-convinced he must have hallucinated the other man and then feeling his heart leap into his throat upon realizing that he hadn't. Caleb was here. Caleb was here. He also looked like absolute hell. What had happened to him and why were the others letting him even be up and about in such a state?

Still, Molly finished his reading - these were not the kind of people you pissed off or brushed aside - and made a show of considering the crowd before he waved a hand at Caleb. "You. You look like a man who very badly needs to know what's going to happen next."

[selfburn]

He stiffened as the eyes on the crowd fell on him. The chances of anyone here being an agent of Trent's was very slim but he still felt the strong surge of fear before it faded to something manageable. He stepped forward and sat down in the chair across from Molly.

"Some, some guidance might be useful." There was no chance Caleb would go back to the Nein without his magic. He would be nothing but a liability to them without any spells. They would never let him cast either once they learned how painful it was for him.

It left him without any real sense of what to do. There was no chance for him to remake time. His magic was too painful now. That left him with nothing. No direction. No hope. No reason to live, really.

"And, uh, some questions that need answering." He was curious about how Molly came back from the dead. He should be bones and rot, nothing like the man sitting across the table who was still so bright and alive.

[viciousmaukeries]

Molly nudged Caleb's chair out with his foot. It was more a matter of nervous fidgeting than anything else - he needed to do something with the urge bubbling up in his chest to pull Caleb into his arms and hug him tight. He had no way of knowing what the other Nein were doing here, if they had some cover that might be blown by the wrong name being spoken or the wrong person recognizing them.

"Guidance is what I'm here for." He winked at Caleb as he gathered the cards deftly back together and started to shuffle them again. "Let's see if we can't put you on the right path, shall we?"

Someone nudged the back of Caleb's chair as Molly got the cards in order, reminding him pointedly that there was a fee for a reading. That wasn't always the case, of course - but as far as they were concerned, it absolutely was always the case for strangers.

Molly bit back a wince even as he kept a smile on his face. "Oh, there are more ways to pay than copper. I'm sure him and I can work something out." The joke got enough of a laugh out of the crowd that he was able to shoot Caleb an apologetic glance without being it being noticed or remarked upon.

"Now, what we're going to do here is a spread that should show you the path to success, a way to overcome any obstacles facing you. This first card here should signify what that obstacle is..."

The reading was utterly generic, meaningless, though what Molly knew of Caleb and the Nein meant that he could lace it with enough significant-sounding details to still sound convincing to the others. The first card he pulled was the Tower, which made him frown for a moment, looking from it to Caleb and back again. The Tower was an easy choice to start with for a spread like this, especially out here, but one look at Caleb told him that it might have come into play by more than his own will. "You've had a very rough time of things. Lost something dear to you. Maybe everything."

He did make sure to deliberately shuffle the Two of Cups into his hand, laying it down in the third position. "I think you might be in for a bit of luck in your current troubles, you have more friends than you might think..."

Finally, the fifth card, also a deliberate choice on his part - the Hanged Man, reversed. "Not normally a good sign, but in your case, I think it might mean that you need to stall for time a little. Take some time to catch your breath and take care of yourself, so you can be ready for whatever's coming next. Gods only know that you look like you need it, friend."

[selfburn]

There would be no paying Molly. Caleb had barely any coin. Maybe one silver and ten copper tucked away somewhere but certainly not enough to pay for the reading. Molly handled it well which he was grateful for. These people seemed to like Molly. The crowd turning against him would go very well.

A generic reading, all things considered, but some points made his heart lurch uncomfortably in his chest. Molly was not psychic, the cards were just a trick, but he wondered if there was a bit of power behind them in moments like this.

“That was... insightful,” Caleb murmured at the end of the reading. A few people started to whisper to each other and another foot nudged the back of his chair. Caleb licked his lips. Right, payment. “Perhaps, perhaps we should discuss payment somewhere else. Somewhere private?”

A few people in the crowd outright laughed. Right, he didn’t look very good right now. He was very much in the state when he first met Molly, dirty and hiding. It didn’t surprise him that the crowd didn’t expect Molly to take any sort of physical payment.

“Uh, or another... form of payment...” Caleb ducked his head, hiding behind his bangs a little bit. There was too much attention on them hopefully Molly would understand.

[viciousmaukeries]

He couldn't have begun to understand the full extent of Caleb's anxiety, but he still remembered that Caleb hated being the center of attention. And this wasn't exactly a friendly crowd, made up of the sort of people who could absolutely enjoy making someone uncomfortable, putting them off.

He leaned forward a little, reaching out to rub a hand along Caleb's arm. The touch was meant to quietly reassure. There was as much softness and familiarity in his voice as he dared betray right now, despite the flippant words and slightly predatory purr on the surface. "Why don't you go wait out back and I'll come to you in a minute? I'm sure we can make it worth one another's while." He'd set up his table at the back of the room, and so the door into the alley behind the building was close enough for Caleb to make it without having to push through the crowd again.

As Caleb left, Molly would clean up his table, make his excuses, say his farewells, with a few bawdy and cutting jokes thrown in to further set the crowd at ease and thrown them off the scent that anything different might be going on. When he slipped out into the alley and closed the door behind him, it did little to diminish the sounds of chattering from inside, but it still absolutely ceased to matter to him - nothing mattered in that moment besides going to Caleb and throwing his arms around the wizard.

"Oh Caleb, Caleb, what have you been doing to yourself?"

[selfburn]

The walls of the tavern were very thin and he could hear the laughter and muffled voices of the patrons inside. He was too poor for anyone to follow him out and rob. It was simply a matter of waiting and trying to think of something, anything to say to answer Molly's questions.

He stiffened a little as Molly hugged him, slowly relaxing because it was Molly. So many people had hurt him lately but he trusted Molly never would. Something like a sob slipped out before Caleb controlled himself.

"My past caught up to me," he said, voice rough with emotion. "And it was, was not good."

That was an understatement. Caleb was beaten and bloody, thin and pale, in general he was a mess. Some of the ache in his chest lifted from Molly's presence. It felt good to be back with someone he trusted.

[viciousmaukeries]

Molly made a low, soft, sad sound at Caleb's words. He pulled away a little, his hands moving to hold Caleb's shoulders as if to keep him from collapsing on the spot. Then he took the chance to get a proper look at him, without the buzz of panic and shock to cloud his senses. Everything he saw only made him worry more.

"No, it doesn't look like it was." Momentarily overcome with sympathy, he leaned in close to kiss Caleb's forehead, then carefully took his hand. "That's fine, it's fine. You're...well, this place isn't safe. It's full of arseholes, actually. But you've got someone back in your corner, now."

His expression faltered, a deeper worry gnawing at him despite his attempts to reassure. He knew this probably wasn't the time to press for more details, but especially after what had happened last time, how he'd died, he couldn't shake the need. "The others aren't with you, are they?"

It was an easy guess to make. If Caleb's past had caught up to him and done this much damage, Molly was scared to think about what state the others might be in. He hoped that they were only separated. Worse outcomes unfortunately seemed very possible.

oh, now I'm thinking what if the curse can't be lifted...

[selfburn]

"They aren't here but they're alive and safe."

Jester sent messages, usually once a week, sometimes twice. He had only responded once to say he was alive and free. That was it. She asked about him coming back. She begged. He had heard her tears but Caleb couldn't go back to them. He was useless. Broken, truly broken this time.

"If you want to see them they're in Allfield." That's what Jester's last message had said. They were in Allfield and trying to help Nott regain her halfling form. Caleb wished he could do something for his best friend but his magic was crippled. "I am staying here."

He was useful here. He wouldn't be anywhere else. No magic, nothing but pain and Trent aware he was alive. Maybe he should flee back to Xhorhas. He could be useless there just as easily.

Better double up on those pushups, Caleb. We could certainly play with that~

[viciousmaukeries]

Molly sucked in a breath, his grip tightening for a moment on Caleb's hand, shock an ugly lance through his chest. "Okay," he said, and then: "Okay. I'm clearly behind on a lot. Let's just...let's just get you inside, shall we?" He forced a bright smile back on his face. "You look dead on your feet in a very-nearly-literal fashion. Come on."

He started to tug Caleb out of the alley, back onto the road, before a thought occurred to him and he stopped. "Are you staying somewhere? I can just take you back to my place, otherwise."

Calling it a place was generous. He slept in the attic of Ophelia's brothel. But it had a bed and it kept out the cold or the rain. It was better than he'd had for a while after first clawing his way out of the ground. And maybe after some rest Caleb would stop talking nonsense, or at least be in a better state to explain why he was.

Artificer Caleb is tempting, lol

[selfburn]

"I live in the stables." It was a roof over his head and the only downside was the smell of manure now and then. The breathing of the horses was actually comforting though they spooked when he woke screaming. "I'm sure wherever you're staying is nicer."

Unless Molly was sleeping in the streets, which he clearly wasn't, his room would be better. Caleb would return to the stables in the morning and get back to work but for the night he could stay with Molly.

Once he explained what had happened to him and his lack of magic Molly would understand why Caleb wasn't going back to the Nein. It would make sense. Then he'd go off to see the others, see Yasha, and... Caleb would be alone. A part of him panicked at the idea. No, he shouldn't be alone. He was powerless, weak, pathetic, he would die alone. But he would also be useless with them so, alone was better.

Maybe Molly can get a new class, too. Caduceus' mushrooms didn't play nice with the Hunter's Bane

[viciousmaukeries]

"Not sure if it's nicer, but it should at least be safer." He knew that Ophelia knew the Mighty Nein, after all, and still remembered them. It was probably the only reason he'd been able to get as far as he had in her care. Hopefully Caleb would still be allowed the same sufferance.

A couple of patrons coming out of the bar called his name. Molly looked over, greeted them with a wave and a wink, then pulled Caleb closer in a very deliberate fashion. The two drunks laughed, wished him a good night, and went their way. Molly let Caleb get some distance back, then led the way in the opposite direction.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, they're disgusting but they're some of the less disgusting types around the place..."

He filled the silence as they walked, mostly with names and facts, telling Caleb who was safer and who was dangerous, who always had work and who always skimped on the pay. By the time the light was starting to fade, they arrived at the gates of the brothel. The guards on the door nodded at Molly and gave Caleb a rather more suspicious look until Molly vouched for him - only then was the former wizard allowed to pass.

At this time of night, business wasn't too bustling yet. There were only a few people passing by in the halls, as Molly led Caleb up every floor and eventually to a short stairwell leading up to the attic.

"Ta-da." He gestured at the crowded, dusty space as he held the door open for Caleb. "Home sweet home, at least for now."

I was also thinking Cobalt Soul Monk Caleb. Punch nerd!

[selfburn]

"It's fine, Molly." Caleb was fairly disgusting right now as well. He desperately needed a proper bath and with his pale complexion he looked as haggard as ever. His personality might be slightly better but only slightly.

Molly had lived quite a life here, Caleb realized as they walked back to his place. He had been here long enough to learn the people, the politics, and make a name for himself. Just how long had Molly been back? Why hadn't he tried to contact the Nein? Was he not actually that pleased to see Caleb?

His thoughts were a bit chaotic but he realized very quickly that Molly lived in a brothel when they entered. There was a variety of people around and many wore very little clothing. They did not appreciate him, dirty and ragged in their place but hiding in the attic smoothed things over.

"Thank you," he said as he ducked passed Molly and stepped inside. "I, I suppose you'll want to hear what happened to me now?"

Wouldn't need Beau to babysit him at the library anymore, either!

[viciousmaukeries]

Molly had been back a couple of months, though most of those first couple of weeks were a blur to him now. Once he'd come back to himself, he'd immediately set to work trying to learn the lay of the land, trying to make himself useful so he could have a safe place to recover. He could learn people and politics in a hurry - it was part of being a carnie.

But it had all been in service of saving up enough coin to make his way back to Zadash...even if, sometimes, things were busy enough that time got away from him, and before he would know it whole days had gone by.

Though he didn't know it, now that Caleb was here, Molly was struggling with much the same anxieties that Caleb was. Would Caleb be angry at Molly for not sending word? Would he be afraid that Molly had forgotten about the group or didn't care?

When Caleb spoke, Molly gave himself a little shake to banish those thoughts to the back of his mind. Time enough for that later. "At some point. Doesn't have to be right now." He closed the door behind them both, then gestured at the bed. "You look like you could use some real sleep. Take the bed if you need it - I'll be able to grab us some food soon." He paused, head slightly tilted, before adding thoughtfully: "I suppose you'll want to hear what happened to me, too. I'll tell you now, it's a very short story."

and when he's desperate he'll still cast magic and it'll hurt and he can still be self-sacrificing

[selfburn]

The bed was tempting. Caleb's body tended to ache constantly now due to Astrid's curse. It was like a constant flu. Sleeping on loose hay on hard wood was not good for that feeling but like everything else he endured.

He went over to the bed and sat down with a heavy sigh. He no longer had his heavy brown coat but a faded green cloak that he stole. All his clothes were stolen, things he found as he made his escape. Trent took everything from him. He took the cloak off and tossed it down on the bed next to him.

"You can tell me when you're ready," Caleb said as he started to unwind the bandages from around his arms. Those were stolen as well. The cuts on his arms were healing nicely though. They would join the collection of silvery thin scars he already had. "We don't have to talk today at all."

Caleb was always one to avoid talking about the horrors of his past, distant and recent.

And Molly will lecture him even though Molly has kind of no room to talk

[viciousmaukeries]

Molly chuckled darkly as he stepped into the room and grabbed his chair. "That's fair enough. We can just take today to make certain we're not both dreaming this, shall we?" Even so, as he sat down backwards in it, he was already tracing the wounds on Caleb's arms. Molly wasn't sure he'd ever seen him without those wrappings, not even when they'd bathed together. So the silvery scars were a shock to him as much as the fresh wounds were.

"Here." He shook out the tapestry from where he'd had it folded over his shoulder and passed it over. "It makes a decent blanket." It was thick enough that, even with the holes left behind by graveworms, it was decently warm. "I'll bring up food in a few hours. I tend to keep, ah, odd hours these days." Which was to say that he usually spent all his free time working whatever jobs would have him. The fifteen silver hidden under the mattress was a testament to his efforts.

[selfburn]

The tapestry smelled faintly of grave dirty but it was warm when he wrapped it around his shoulders. It might be a little morbid to wear it. They had buried Molly in this. Now Caleb was going to sleep in it.

"We can talk over dinner. A few hours should make it seem real." He took off his stolen boots and laid down. His back and shoulders still ached a little but it was actually comfortable compared to the hayloft.

He watched Molly in the chair and found himself smiling. "I do hope you're real, Molly. I missed you."

His death had hit the Nein hard and left them adrift for awhile. It was good to see him again. If this was madness, at least it was with a friend.

[viciousmaukeries]

Molly looked startled at the admission, but only for a moment - then his expression softened into a fond smile. He got up from his chair, walked over to the bedside, mussed Caleb's hair and then fussed with the blankets around him. "Feeling's mutual, Mister Caleb. I suppose we'll both have to keep our fingers crossed, hm?"

Since Caleb already seemed well on his way to sleep, Molly felt safe to leave him to rest a while. He took a couple of minutes to get himself in order, scrubbing his face in a basin and otherwise doing what he could to make it less obvious he'd just rolled in from a tavern. Then he headed back out into the brothel, locking the door behind him.

His job was to spend a few hours keeping the peace until the other guard stumbled in, keeping tabs on who came in, throwing out anyone who got rowdy, and overall helping the actual residents feel a bit safer. It wasn't terribly dangerous work - usually anyone who wanted to start trouble was sufficiently drunk by then that he could work circles around them and duck any blows they might swing. Some of the residents disdained him and his strange appearance, but others had grown fond of him, and the rest tolerated him well enough.

Finally, his relief arrived, and Molly was free to steal down to the kitchens. The cooks gave him strange looks when he requested a second bowl for the night, but with a bit of wheedling he was able to secure it. Caleb's presence would need accounting for later, but that could be a problem for later.

When he returned a few hours later, night had properly fallen. Molly was balancing a couple of bowls and spoons in his hands, each filled with stew with some heels of bread balanced precariously on the rims. It was simple fare, heavy on potatoes and turnips, but it would prove filling and good, too. The bread was thick and brown.

"Rise and shine. Or whatever you say when it's however late it is."

[selfburn]

Caleb curled up into a small ball the moment the door closed behind Molly. Sleep came from exhaustion but it wasn't very restful. In his dreams he was strapped down to a table, he was Bren and he was Caleb. He was young and old but the pain was the same. Trent was in the shadows with a knife in hand ready to cut him open again and again and again.

He woke only with a small scream and instantly cast dancing lights. His whole body twitched and jerked like someone struck him with lightning. The lights went out and the pain went away. Caleb lay in bed breathing hard, some tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He loved magic and Trent had taken it from him.

Caleb gathered himself by the time Molly came back with dinner. "I'm awake," he said as he sat up, the tapestry still around his shoulders. He had some sleep which took care of the bags under his eyes but casting the spell kept him pale.

"Thank you." He took the bowl but first bit into the bread. It was the most filling thing he had in days. "What do you do here?"

Molly wasn't a whore since this was the only room he had and clearly it wasn't meant for clients.

[viciousmaukeries]

"I'm the hired muscle." He tapped his chest, grinning wryly. Molly knew he didn't necessarily look like such a thing - he wasn't big or brawny or strong. He just looked rather alarming in the right circumstances, he knew how to use the swords he carried, and - if all else failed - he could just ask nicely and people would stop causing trouble and leave.

At least that power remained to him, unreliable as it was.

"Now, don't get me wrong. I offered to earn my keep on my back or any other way someone would pay to have me. But, ah..." And here Molly actually looked embarrassed, even anxious - he glanced away, running a hand agitatedly through his hair. "The madam of the house wasn't sure anyone would take me up on that. Especially after how I woke up."

That was as good a place as any to start the story, he supposed. Molly rolled up his sleeves and his pant leg, pulled up his shirt, all for the sake of showing off the new scars that marked his body. Above his own scattered, silvery marks and the twisted knot of flesh over his heart were patches of strangely blistered skin, as if marred by old burns, twisting and blurring the tattoos that lay beneath.

"I woke up with mushrooms growing out of me." His voice went bright and brittle. "That was fun."

It hadn't been fun at all.

[selfburn]

“Caduceus,” Caleb said but he realized quickly that wouldn’t make any sense to Molly. “He’s a cleric we met after your death. He, he specializes in helping the dead move on. He was trying to help you.”

None of them had any idea Molly would get out of his second grave. None. They had let Caduceus help Molly’s body return to the earth and moved on with only the occasional second thought or wondering about Molly since then. Caleb liked Caduceus, even if his insightful nature made him nervous sometimes.

Molly wasn’t ugly for his new scars though. He certainly wasn’t as ugly as some of the patrons Caleb saw in the tavern or downstairs. It was a shame his tattoos had been marred though.

“I’m cursed.” Caleb held out his arm and anxiously ran his arms over his scars and healing wounds. “I... there’s so much to explain.”

As calmly and clearly as he could manage Caleb explained his past. He spoke of Bren and the first round of experiments Trent Ikithon had inflicted on him. He told the story of the asylum and escape and years of hiding until it all fell apart because of a well intentioned letter.

“It was a trap, of course. Astrid cursed me, blocking me somehow from my magic. It, it hurts to cast even the simplest cantrip.” He curled his hand into a fist as he fought the urge to reach for his magic just to feel it there even though it would hurt. It had defined him for so long. “Trent promised me he would remove it once I was obedient again... I escaped before he could alter my memories enough to make me docile.”

[viciousmaukeries]

Molly actually burst out laughing, at this. "I suppose I did move on. Just not where I was supposed to." And wasn't that just the story of his life?

"...thank you for trying, though." There was a lot Molly didn't know about, but he did know about undead things, even if he didn't remember how he'd learned everything he knew. Just from the way he'd died, he knew he would have been ripe to return as some kind of restless ghost or vengeful spirit. And that truly would have been the worst kind of hell, for someone like him. If Caduceus had spared him that, waking up with mushrooms growing out of him was a comparatively small price to pay.

The situation quickly stopped having anything to laugh about, though. Molly listened quietly as Caleb told the long and ugly story. His bowl of soup sat slowly cooling on the floor beside him, utterly forgotten. He clenched his hands in his lap so tightly that they shook slightly, itching with the urge to do something to fix this, somehow.

"I'm glad you did." His voice was quiet and worried, then Molly forced a smile. "At least that means there is a way to remove it, right? Once we get you back to the others, I'm sure they can figure out a way. Hells, if you've got two clerics now, it should be easy."

[selfburn]

“No.” Caleb shook his head. “No, I’m not going back to the others.”

Not only was there a chance Trent would come after him but he was utterly useless to the Nein. If Trent came after him with the Nein they would all be utterly destroyed. He was the only one that could counter Trent’s magic. Not anymore.

“I’m useless to them.” He picked up his soup and stirred it around with a chunk of bread. He couldn’t help Nott regain her form. He couldn’t manipulate time to save his parents. He couldn’t even cast the hut that protected the Nein on the road. Caleb was nothing. “If I stay here it’s likely Trent won’t come for me. If he does, I’ll run for Xhorhas and hide out there. The Empress will give me some protection.”

He didn’t want to bring this trouble to the Empress either. He wanted to vanish into the world and never be noticed again. It was dumb luck that he ended up in the same place as Molly.

The bread started to fall apart and he quickly shoveled it into his mouth. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “They’re fine without me.”

[viciousmaukeries]

Molly frowned, making an irritated sound and reaching up to massage his temples. He'd hoped that some sleep and food would let them just brush past this mad idea in Caleb's head. Apparently nothing was destined to be that easy. "Do you hear yourself? I'd bet you every silver I have that they're not fine, they're sick with worry about you."

Still, seeing Caleb starting to eat again reminded Molly about his own unattended bowl. He picked it up and jabbed the spoon pointedly in Caleb's direction before shoveling a spoonful into his mouth, still talking around it: "And let's set aside how terrible it is to refer to yourself as useless - what would it matter if they could undo what he did to you in the first place."

[selfburn]

They were worried. He heard it in Jester’s voice every time she checked in. It was why he told her he was alive, in the hopes it would stop her worrying. Caleb had been on his own before. He could do it again.

“Once they adjust it will be fine. They’ve gotten used to Yasha leaving.” Yasha came back and Caleb didn’t plan on doing that. The others had good hearts and were good people which was why he should stay away from them. No one needed him around.

“Trent Ikithon is the most powerful wizard in the Empire. I doubt what he did can be undone by something like a restoration spell or a counter spell. I don’t even understand how this spell works!” Some anger came back to Caleb’s voice. It was the first real emotion he had shown outside of broken sadness. “It is better if I stay here. The last spell Trent cast on me drove a woman insane when she broke it. No, Molly, it’s better I stay here.”